Captured Humor
by Shinju-Taitei
Summary: Just Read. It'll be worth it. The pairings are a mixed bag, but nothing's too out there. One-shots and drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the knowledge accumulated over years on this network and in this life time.

A/N: I'm considering the fact that I must be insane. I publish mediocre work for little, if no fan support. And yet, here I am....... still writing......

Ignore my pity. Pass over my work....... Tarnish my name..... (_watches own soul depart in tears and body fade into nothingness_.....)

Okay, I'm done now. Enjoy.

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**If Everyone Cared**

Walking from the now decaying body of a diseased and scrawny animal, Beast Boy tried not to let what he'd just done get to him. That dog was supposed to die a long time ago. Better to put it out of it's misery. He had done it before to a horse that was not only starving, but lame. And that was a big animal.

So why was it that every time he went to his room after a day of putting down strays, he always came face to face with Raven and ended up crying against her until he went to sleep?

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**God Is a Girl-**Flying against the body of a large, fluffy cloud, Starfire grinned, hearing Robin call to her from below, down on the earth, looking like a small insect.

How she adored the feeling of the white fluff against her! It was like a much larger feeling of Robin's hair ticking her face when she assisted him in battle, just without his nice, musky scent.

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**Poison-**"Does it seem odd to you at all that you're a villain, I'm a hero and we're both sitting here, fine and dandy, eating frozen yogurt?"

Red-X looked up from the menu in his gloved hands over to Argent, raising an eyebrow that was obscured by his ever-present mask.

"Not really."

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**This Is My Idea-**Staring at Melvin with that look he gets whenever someone asks him a really obvious question, Gizmo holds back the insults so that Jinx doesn't vaporize him, or whatever, with a hex.

Staring at Gizmo with the look only a trained super hero female can give, Melvin resists the urge to drop the look and hide behind Raven.

Play dates were so over-rated.

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**Blackbird Singing In The Dead Of Night-**Into the light of the dark black night, Jericho was being carefully manuevered through trees and flocks of other birds by the large green Roc the was Beast Boy.

Earlier that day, the changeling had discovered this new form he could take on and begged the mute to come with him on the test drive. And don't get Jericho wrong, it was all well it good. The scenery was beautiful and if Beast Boy crashed they were only a mile or so from the blonde's house.

It's just.... they were in the air almost as high as some airplanes flew and if, god forbid, Beast Boy did crash they'd be SCREWED.

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**Because of You**

Touching up the dark blue-brown bruise on her face, Argent couldn't hear the silent and almost non-existent foot-steps behind her.

So, of course, when a gloved hand touched her shoulder, it was no surprise that her visitor landed viciously on their ass after she elbowed them in the gut.

Unfortunately, her visitor was also her current love interest.

"... Have a bad day, darling?" The ever so sarcastic voice of Red-X asked from the floor.

"Oh God! I'm sorry! Are you okay? Did I break something?" The hybrid asked, quickly pulling the thief off the floor.

"I'm.... fine. What about you?" He asked, spotting the bruise she had yet to cover.

"Oh, this?" She chuckled," It's all good. Johnny Rancid just got in a good shot at his bank job today."

"Oh." He said, casually cracking his knuckles.

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**Accidentally in Love  
**

It was more of a fluke that they fell in love than anything else. A princess from outer space and a multiplying redneck with a bit of a theft problem.

These are the sort of stories that are great for magazines but you never read about in fairy tales.

"Billy you get back in here this minute and clean up this mess or I swear to Tamaran I will blow up every last porno that's under your bed!" Blackfire called from the dining room, mob in hand, hovering above what appeared to be slime on their table.

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The Girl Next Door

Sitting on an ancient and creaky bench in the park, the girl from Azarath watched as Beast Boy played frisbee with Terra, changing from one dog breed to the next every time he caught the stupid thing.

And he had caught it quite a few times. So far Raven had seen him turn from Doberman to Husky to Great Dane to Chocolate lab to.... well, you get the idea.

And every time he did change Raven felt the urge to smack the smile off Terra's face.

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Kiss The Girl

Leading a small gaggle of geese with all their little ducklings from one side of the street over to the public pond, to Jinx, was a waste of a good hour and a half. She could be stopping an armed burglary with Kid Flash at the bank, but NOOOO. He insisted he could handle it alone and she should continue what they both had been doing before one of the stupid birds got run over and stained the street.

Not in those exact words, but pretty close.

Sighing. the bad luck witch continued to create the illusion that she would attack the birds, moving them steadily towards the water, one of the ducklings following close behind her.

"Oh, Jinx-y," An annoying voice she had grown accustomed to said from directly behind her.

Swiftly turning to chew his ear off about leaving her, the words didn't even get a chance to start as he landed a soft, albeit effective, kiss on her lips.

"Not mad at me are ya'?"

"Shut up and just help me with that grey pile of down next to my foot before I kick him."

"Turn into a momma while I was gone?"

"Shut Up!"

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First Kiss- Mandy Moore

If it were up to Pantha, she would have liked to ask the big lug out to a club herself, but unfortunately, here in America, as far as she knew, the male was supposed to make the first move. Ask _her_ on the date. As unfair as it was.

Sitting in the training area of her favorite gym, the Latino female continued to watch the tall H.I.V.E. memeber she had developed a crush on punch a dummy into oblivion.

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'Till the End Of Time- Little Miss Sunshine

Peeking out from behind the newly erected sofa cushion fort in the H.I.V.E. living room, a pair of ruby red eyes caught sight of something..... rather odd.

Extremely odd.

Sitting on the kitchen island was Gizmo, devoid of his usual gear, holding his communicator, not _looking_ at his communicator, and staring into space with a very dazed expression.

Careful not to knock over the fort, Kyd Wykkyd walked careful and quietly as ever into the kitchen. Although it wasn't in his nature to snoop, the teleporter did notice that while Gizmo might not have been looking at his yellow gadget, the thing was on and playing what could be the reason his bald friend looked catatonic.

Lifting himself to the ends of his toes, Kyd Wykkyd could make out a face on the communicator's screen. A little blonde girl, making a peace sign that looked about Gizmo's age, maybe a little younger.

"See you tommorow, Gizmo!"

Ah, so their electronics junkie friend had finally gotten into the dating game.

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Stand Clear- Speak

"Me thinketh thou' doust look smashing tonight."

Rolling her eyes, Raven blew a wisp of her hair from her face. She did not like attending charade parties and everyone knew it.

Everyone except Beast Boy, anyway.

Grabbing onto the bottom of her (apparantly) twenty pound dress, the telepath moved away from her green, dressed-up-like-Mr. Darcy-from- Pride and Prejudice friend, opting to get to the snack table before Cyborg (dressed up as King George, by the way) ate it all.

Thank Azar she had decided to skip putting on the wig. That thing weighed, like, five extra pounds.

The British. What had they been thinking?

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All Fall Down- Speak

Holding onto the edge of a long abandoned building, feeling the pile-up of years and years worth of mold between her fingers, Kitten Moth looked up towards the moon that was slightly covered by the clouds.

Oh, how stupid she had been today. She had made the mistake of breaking up with Fang.... again.

And he hadn't even done anything, she had just been in a bad mood because Daddy had left again to go to Bosnia, Lybia- one of the 'ia's- and hadn't told her.

It wasn't her way to be depressed for long intervals of time, but, she supposed, there was always a first time for everything.

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Stay (I Missed You)- Reality Bites

Grabbing her coat, black leather with little red patterns, Argent made her way out of the Titans Tower, a frown marring her usually happy, cheerful face.

She really, really needed to find Red-X. She hadn't seen him in a week. Not since he'd escaped from a jewelry heist with three probably broken ribs and a fractured wrist. Compliments of Robin, of course.

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I Want You to Want Me

"Are you crying?"

Not turning to face her spandex wearing, southern companion, the ex-princess of Tamaran continued making a tuna and peanut butter sandwich. Billy always said her eating habits went hay-wire when they watched lovey-dovey movies, and, apparently, so did her emotions.

"It was just so beautiful! They way they professed their love by listing each other's flaws! Don't EVER make me watch that again!" Blackfire ordered, swallowing her less than conventional meal.

"'Kay...." Billy said, grabbing the knife she had next to her and quickly dopositing it into the sink.

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A Whole New World

This was not what Robin had in mind when he said he'd take Starfire out to dinner.

"Star, uh, can you fly a little lower? Please? If we drop, I really don't want to crash into that mountain."

"Of course, Robin! Oh, and I see the restaurant!"

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Part Of Your World

Resting his head against the polished tile floor, Aqualad continued to stare at the perplexing object held in his hand.

Last week, as a present for his birthday (that he had told absolutely nobody about, by the way) he had been sent a gift from Beast Boy. Poorly wrapped within the most hideous wrapping paper ever, but otherwise unharmed, a perfectly sculpted figure of a creature that only an Atlantian would recognize.

The figure was a blue skinned Hippocampis. Or, as many humans called it, a seahorse. And to top it off, the figure was attatched to a music box that played an unfamiliar, yet beautiful tune.

Until an hour ago, Aqualad hadn't understood two things. One, how Beast Boy even knew what a Hippocampis looked like... two, how he, of all people, knew when his birthday was when even his own team didn't know.

So, he'd made a phone call to the Jump City T-tower and, after asking for Beast Boy personally via Raven, gotten both answers.

Apparently, the little quasi-leprechaun had hacked into the Titan personal files to find out the birthday part, and made a quick semi-painful journey to Atlantis for the sculpture.

"He's such an idiot..." Aqualad chuckled half-heartedly.

Oh well. At least the music box part annoyed Speedy. That was awesome.

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A/N:

Well, that's it for now.... supposing I get any reviews... which I probably won't, but what the hell....


	2. Aqualad's Annoyance

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the knowledge accumulated over years on this network and in this life time.

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One-Shot: Head-ache for the Ages AKA Aqualad's Annoyance.

Characters: Aqualad, Titan's West, Titan's East.

Genre: Humor all the way.

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_'....And you're just what I need, and you're just what I need!.... I'm feelin' fine, I'm right on time, I know I'll get my waaaayyyyy......'_

This was starting to really, really piss a certain Atlantian prince off. His head was throbbing to a degree that was almost uncontrollable. And he had taken more than the recommended dose of aspirin to get rid of the pounding!

Three days ago the Titan's East had come over to Jump City to help Robin out with Slade. That would have all been well and good. Everyone basically got along pretty well..... except Mas and Menos when they courted Starfire, but that couldn't be helped.

And Aqualad had been happy as well, until two days ago.

After exactly seventeen hours in the tower, the aquatic male noticed that, although there were no stereos currently on, there was music coming from somewhere. Never exactly where he was, but rather close by. One floor above, in the next room, in the training room.

He thought, after five more hours of this, that he might be going crazy, but then, another annoying three hours went by and he figured that it wasn't him that was the problem (thank God), but his telepathy powers. Someone else was singing these vile human songs in his or her head!

The problem would have been solved right then, but then he found that the person wasn't singing in their own voice, but had memorized the actual singer's voice! And the timing of the music, the chords and all that other musical crap!

This added to Aqualad's problem. Now he'd have to locate the person himself. He couldn't just going to everyone in the tower and ask them to cease their current thoughts. That would make him sound insane.

So, the first night, he went to sleep with the full intent to find the person the next morning and ask them to cut off the singing in their head while he was there. Even with a new song starting up as he fell into the darkness that was sleep.

_'...... Little child, be not afraid. The rain pounds hard against the glass, like an unwanted stranger.....'  
_

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The next morning, on the second day, Aqualad searched the whole tower for the singer in his head. But, again, every room the Atlantean was in, the singer wasn't. He'd followed Robin into the training room, got no reading at all. The Boy Wonder was actually making a grocery list in his head.

When he had tried to meditate with Raven and Starfire in the living area, he not only got nothing on them, but was rather disturbed to find that the princess of Tamaran was thinking about Robin (not a BIG surprise, but still...) and Raven was thinking about clones of herself that wore different colored capes. The one wearing pink creeped him out especially.

When he'd done training with Cyborg, he'd gotten a reading,

_'.... And, so every night you shake as you lie in bed! And the bass and drums are poundin' in your head...'  
_  
But not in the immediate area. And the only thing going around in Cyborg's head was continual praying that some horse that he'd bet on would win the tri-fecta. Whatever the hell that was.

Sadly, he had to speak another language to understand what was going on inside Mas and Menos' heads. He only understood, very vaguely, what was going on inside Mas' head. Something or other about hair gel and Speedy......

After making a personal note never, EVER, to use his archer friend's personal products, Aqualad then followed Bumble Bee into town to take care of a problem concerning Doctor Light, which only took six minutes to take care of, compliments of his water swirling around the idiot and Bee's electricity blowing the guy to the moon.

He got nothing on Bee.

Nothing except her swearing terribly at what a waste of time the fight with Doctor Light had been. And when Aqualad meant swearing, he meant something that would make a sailor blush and excuse himself from the room.

The dark haired male, then had to deal with some of the HIVE who were, once again, trashing the mall.

By the time Aqualad had gotten back, covered with bruises, compliments of Mammoth, he was just too tired to search out the voice, and went to bed, a huge head-ache keeping him up for a while and yet another song coming in clear as crystal at full blast.

_'.... She's not afraid, she just likes to use a night light. When she gets paid.....'  
_

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Now, with the third day of the Titans Easts' stay, Aqualad was pissed and searching out Speedy and Beast Boy with a passion he didn't even know he had in him. God help whoever got in his way.

The continual sounds of The Plain White T's wasn't helping the matter.

Barging into the kitchen, eyes darker than usual, the Atlantean spotted Speedy sitting with his usual bowl of God-only-knew-what-it's-made-from cereal, looking rather surprised at his usually very passive friend's behavior.

Zero reading on him. But the noise was coming from somewhere and there was only one person in the tower he hadn't gotten to yet....

Grabbing Speedy by the collar in a way that said he meant business, Aqualad demanded," Where's Beast Boy?!"

Still a little shocked at Aqualad's behavior, as well as curious, Speedy pointed outside the window with the ocean view to what appeared to be a big green mocking bird flying around in circles.

Oh, the irony. Hah, hah. Aqualad was not amused.

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Okay, so admittedly, this was a really lame up-date, but boredom and probing is the only reason I got this out. Funny, in my head this was a really good idea.... mmmm. Review me, please?


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